The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university

did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the

salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and

make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart illustrates the percentage of
Anthropology
students
who had different choices after they graduated from one university.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the table
presentes
Correct your spelling
presents
the data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
salary
Correct article usage
the salary
show examples
that
students
get after 5 working years.
Overall
, there are various destinations that
students
choose after they graduated, but in general, the majority of
students
take part in
full - time
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
work
after their graduation.
Besides
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anthropology
Add an article
the anthropology
show examples
students
get
well- paid
Correct your spelling
well-paid
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
after their 5
years's
Remove the s
years'
show examples
work
. The number of
Anthropology
students
working full-time makes up
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over half. The record of
students
working part-time and not working is 15% and 12% respectively. 8% is the proportion of full-time
post grad
Add a hyphen
post-grad
show examples
study and it is the same as
students
who did not know their destination to
work
after graduation.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
just 5% is
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
a percentage
show examples
of part-time
work
and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
postgraduate. The level of salary
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
predicted for
Anthropology
students
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
freelance is increasing each period, 5% in 25000-49000 , 15% in 50000-74,999and 40% in 100000.
By contrast
, the private corporation diverged generally with 10% in the lowest income range. 35% earning 50000-74,999,
while
, 25% and 30%
students
earning 75,000-99,9999 and 100000 respectively.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words anthropology, students, work with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: