The two pie charts give information on the propotion of males and females in employment in six general categories in 1992, they divided into manual and non-manual. Manual occupation includes Craft or similar, General labourers and other manua

#two #information #propotion #males #females #employment #six #categories #occupation #craft #labourers #manua

The

two

pie charts give information on the

propotion

Correct your spelling

proportion

promotion

of males and females in

employment

in six general categories in 1992, they divided into manual and non-manual. Manual occupation includes Craft or similar, General labourers and other manual.

While

non-manual

occupation

Fix the agreement mistake

occupations

show examples

are Managerial and professional, Clerical or related and other non-manual.

Overall

, it can be noticed that women prefer non-manual work,

whereas

men choose manual

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

more. In the first diorama, it is clearly seen that non-manual

employment

exceeds manual

employment

For example

, Clerical or related

maked

Correct your spelling

made

show examples

up the highest

percentage

, i.e. 31%, followed by 29%

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

from Managerial and professional, and the lowest one was Other non-manual with nine

percent

,respectively. In general, non-manual work in the female chart is 69%, which is more than doubled by manual one. More specifically, manual

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

in women's

graphic

Fix the agreement mistake

graphics

show examples

as a whole was 31%, twenty-seven

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of which is Other manual

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

, 3% was Craft or similar, and only

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

was General labourers. In the second graph, there is not as big a difference between

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

tpes

Correct your spelling

types

employment

as in the first. To be more precise, manual

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

accounted for 52%, in the manual

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

part other manual had the largest

percentage

, 26%. Followed by Craft or similar with 24%. And the smallest

percentage

was general

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

, only

two

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

, respectively.

While

Managerial and professional accounted for the highest

percentage

with 36%, and

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

two

had 6% each.

Submitted by dnm.best on Fri Jul 21 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words two, employment, labor, percentage, percent with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

237 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012