The chart below shows the different types of goods and services purchased online in Australia, Canada and the United Kingdom in one year. Summaries the the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The chart below shows the different types of goods and services purchased online in Australia, Canada and the United Kingdom in one year. Summaries the the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar graph illustrates the proportion of top internet purchase categories by Australia, Canada, and the United Kingdom(UK) in an annual.

Overall

Linking Words

, the major contributor was the UK which had made an expenditure on music and books.

Likewise

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, the citizens of Australia and Canada brought nearly the same proportion of computer equipment and books. Regarding the purchase of financial, services the inhabitants of the UK accounted for roughly 1% which was the least expense made during the year.

Whereas

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approximately sixty-one proportion of transaction was made in music and books becoming the highest expenditure recorded so far. Percentage-wise, Canadian shoppers invested nearly the same amount on computer accessories and study materials which were around forty-three per cent.

Similarly

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, the fewer bill payment recorded by Canadian individuals was on food and drink items(about 1%). Meanwhile, the Australian made transactions in toys for only one-tenth of the Canadian ones.

suneel22.snFri Jul 21 2023

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

146 words

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Certainly, let's enhance the essay to potentially achieve a Band 9 in IELTS Writing:

The chart below shows the different types of goods and services purchased online in Australia, Canada and the United Kingdom in one year. Summaries the the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents choosing to self-educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

In some countries unemployment is high, so some people think that children should only go to primary school and not to secondary school because, they will not be able to find jobs in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?