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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Task one( Test 10) The chart shows the proportion of working age adults in four countries from 1960 to 2015. Units are given in percentages. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Task one( Test 10) The chart shows the proportion of working age adults in four countries from 1960 to 2015. Units are given in percentages. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#test #proportion #age #adults #four #countries #units #percentages #summarise #information #features #comparisons
Overall
, there was a decreasing trend in all
of
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apply
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four countries in
working
Correct article usage
the working
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age
population
. In 1960, the percentage of the
working
Add a hyphen
working-age
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age
population
 was highest in Germany
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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just over 65,
while
 the lowest was in the United States
with
Change preposition
at
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 roughly 60. In France and
Japan
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,Japan
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this
 percentage was somewhere between 60 and 65. Japan's
working
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working-age
show examples
age
population
 increased substantially and reached a peak of approximately 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 1985
then
 it decreased substantially and
finally
 reached just over 50
percent
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per cent
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 in 2050, which is the lowest among others. Germany
also
 saw fluctuations and reached a peak of roughly 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1990,
then
 it decreased too, but at
slower
Add an article
a slower
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 rate than Japan, and eventually ,in 2050, it was roughly 55
percent
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per cent
show examples
. United state's working
age
population
 did not
changed
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change
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 a lot, with some fluctuations it came back to
initial
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the initial
an initial
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 position of 60
percent
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per cent
show examples
.
However
,
overall
, France's
working
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working-age
show examples
age
population
 decreased, it reached a peak of just over 65 in 1990,
then
 decreased until 2050, in which it was just over 55
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by tukezaliyeva96 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, population, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "substantially" was used 2 times.
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