Gender imbalance has long been a general phenomenon not only in the labour market but also in formal education. Some analysts argue that it is impossible to eliminate the underrepresentation of women in some subjects in the university. Do you agree or disagree?
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Gender
inequality has existed long before and it still exists in the community one or the other way despite policy intervention in it. some commenter says that abandoning the social stigmatisation of gender
bias would be difficult as it is also
observed in some of the universities around the world. I do agree with the statement as it is more commonly experienced in the community,
when girls usually Remove the comma
apply
fails
to perform the assigned tasks.
Change the verb form
fail
Gender
dominance by men
has overtaken the job markets, which is the leading cause of women
being treated inferior to men
. When the girls are forgotten in the job market, they will be left behind as a
Correct article usage
apply
housewife
or some will be given low-paid jobs. In Fix the agreement mistake
housewives
this
situation
Add a comma
situation,
women
have to be dependent to
their Change preposition
on
husband
at Fix the agreement mistake
husbands
home
becoming
low self-esteem at Verb problem
and have
home
too. For
instance
if you are downlooked by more people in society, what could be the result? your performance will just stick at Add a comma
instance,
home
making
leaving behind all the skills you have obtained. That's why the girls lose their opportunity outdoors.
Verb problem
apply
However
there are ways and strategies to overcome Add a comma
However,
such
mishaps in the society. Firstly
revise the curriculum in the schools and colleges that are free from gender
bias. Making a learning environment free from sexual stereotype
for students will bring great change for upcoming youths. Fix the agreement mistake
stereotypes
Secondly
government should take responsibility for equity among Add a comma
Secondly,
men
and women
at the state level. For example
offering an
equal job opportunities to both Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
men
and women
, so that the women
raise their shoulders against the men
, gaining equal responsibility at home
too.
In conclusion, with the existence of gender
inequality since the early period, it will be challenging to overcome. Even then
, putting efforts from the policy level to self-awareness would minimise the prevalence of gender
imbalance in society.Submitted by rinchennima77 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly and relates to the main argument. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your points more effectively.
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Clarify your ideas more comprehensively by elaborating on your main points with precise explanations or further examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the response.
task achievement
The main arguments are present and cover the topic well.