The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A significant change has been observed in the conditions of females for many years in many societies.
However
, equality of Linking Words
gender
seems hardly to be claimed in these societies. Undoubtedly, a change in the Use synonyms
position
of a Use synonyms
woman
cannot be ignored, Use synonyms
,
Change the punctuation
apply
Linking Words
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
gender
disparity has not been removed still.
Use synonyms
Women
are respected in today's world as in the past since they are being educated, employed and awarded. Girls have raised their Use synonyms
position
like Use synonyms
men
as they go Use synonyms
for earning
money. The more they Change preposition
to earn
are achieving
education, the more they are awarded Wrong verb form
achieve
towards
their rights which leads to a respected situation Change preposition
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
them
in society. What is more, unlike uneducated previous females, today's girl does not only work at home but Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
does not keep silent against violence Linking Words
on
Change preposition
apply
her
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Consequently
, Linking Words
this
has improved the Linking Words
position
of a Use synonyms
woman
.
Paradoxically, Use synonyms
instead
of having a better Linking Words
position
in society, Use synonyms
women
are not treated equally like a man. Being a Use synonyms
woman
, she has to perform all the responsibilities including care of a baby, and domestic work even though she comes from a job which shows that there is no Use synonyms
gender
equality in society. Use synonyms
For example
, a report from Linking Words
Sample
Survey Office in Delhi in 2021 shows that 20% more Correct article usage
the Sample
women
than Use synonyms
men
are living under pressure and facing health problems Use synonyms
due to
work-load. Linking Words
Additionally
, the profound influence of a man's decision on a Linking Words
woman
is not ignorable. Unfortunately, Use synonyms
women
cannot do any job if they are not allowed. Use synonyms
Men
's opinions are given priority.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
the Linking Words
position
of Use synonyms
women
goes through many changes over many years, they are still treated differently than Use synonyms
men
. Use synonyms
Gender
equality is likely to be achieved when more education and facilities Use synonyms
would be
provided to Wrong verb form
are
women
.Use synonyms
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task response
Your essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and presents some relevant ideas. However, it would benefit from a more balanced argument and clearer development of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, but the development of main points lacks coherence and organization. Use transition words and logical progression of ideas to improve coherence and cohesion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?