The pie charts give information about the proportoin males and females in employment in six categories divided into manualand non-manual occupations

The pie charts give information about the proportoin males and females in employment  in six  categories  divided into manualand non-manual occupations
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‏The pie chart illustrates figures for men and women performing in six types of handwork and non-handwork occupations. ‏
Overall
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, managerial and professional were have the Largest percentage in both,
while
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the other manual has nearly the same shart in female and male.
In contrast
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the general labourers it a small segment . ‏
According to
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the proportion of females,clerical or related have the biggest fraction at 31
percent
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per cent
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.
In addition
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, managerial and professional, and other manual represents 29% and 29% respectively.
while
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the general and labourers, craft, and other non-manual collectively comprised less than a fifth. ‏
On the other hand
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, the manual categories of males like a graft of similar and other manuals they have just a half in the graph. In terms of percentage ,managerial
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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accounted for 36
percent
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per cent
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.
Finally
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, the rest have almost 14 per cent.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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