The pie charts give information about the proportoin males and females in employment in six categories divided into manualand non-manual occupations

#information #proportoin #males #females #employment #six #categories #manualand #occupations

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‏The pie chart illustrates figures for men and women performing in six types of handwork and non-handwork occupations. ‏

Overall

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, managerial and professional were have the Largest percentage in both,

while

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the other manual has nearly the same shart in female and male.

In contrast

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the general labourers it a small segment . ‏

According to

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the proportion of females,clerical or related have the biggest fraction at 31

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

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In addition

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, managerial and professional, and other manual represents 29% and 29% respectively.

while

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the general and labourers, craft, and other non-manual collectively comprised less than a fifth. ‏

On the other hand

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, the manual categories of males like a graft of similar and other manuals they have just a half in the graph. In terms of percentage ,managerial

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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accounted for 36

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

Finally

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, the rest have almost 14 per cent.

Submitted by Layla on Sun Jul 30 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

138 words

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The pie charts give information about the proportoin males and females in employment in six categories divided into manualand non-manual occupations

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities , so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.