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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #participation #women #management #three #companies #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The table demonstrates the
percentage
participation
 of
women
 in three companies
Eldan
Ltd
,
Bamforth
,
Finsbury
Correct word choice
and Finsbury
show examples
Ltd
 between 1975 and 2015.
Overall
, the
percentage
participation
 of
women
 in
Eldan
Ltd
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
 change between 1975 and 2015
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 3%. But between 1980 and 2000 the
percentage
participation
 of
women
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 from 3% to 33%. Having dramatically about
participation
Add an article
the participation
show examples
 of
women
 of
Eldan
Ltd
 from 2000 to 2015. the
Eldan
 have the
hightest
Correct your spelling
highest
 about
percentage
participation
 of
women
 in three companies. It can be seen from the graph that the
percentage
participation
 of
women
 of
Bamforth
Ltd
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 an increase from 9% to 17% between 1975 and 2000. But in
Bamforth
 have is
enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
participation
 of
women
 from 17% to 46% between 2000 and 2015.
On the other hand
, in
Finsbury
Ltd
 the
percentage
participation
 of
women
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 an oscillation
such
 as: between 1975 and 1980 having a decrease from 16% to 14%,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
women
climb
Wrong verb form
climbed
show examples
 from 14% to 22% between 1980 and 1990, but between 1990 and 2000 the
Finsbury
Ltd
 have a fall from 22% to 20%, having considerably between 2000 and 2015 from 20% to 26%.
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Finsbury
Ltd
 isn't more
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
 than
Bamforth
Ltd
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
participation
Add an article
the participation
show examples
 of
women
 between 1975 and 2015.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, participation, women, eldan, ltd, bamforth, finsbury with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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