The proportion of income adults and children spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.

#proportion #income #adults #children #items #uk

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The table illustrates how much money was spent in the UK in 1998 on four common items by teenagers and

adults

Use synonyms

compared to their income.

Overall

Linking Words

adults

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spent more money on food,

while

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it was

least

Correct article usage

the least

show examples

popular

items

Fix the agreement mistake

item

show examples

for

children

Use synonyms

. Young people spent more on music,

whereas

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for

adults

Use synonyms

it was only the second highest expense. Videos were the least popular items for both groups. In terms of food,

adults

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spent a quarter of their income.

Furthermore

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, men and women spent 14% and 39% respectively,

while

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children

Use synonyms

spent around a tenth (9% for boys and 11% for girls).

On the other hand

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, music was a completely dominant expense for

children

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with 39% of their income,

whereas

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adults

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spent only 5%. Videos were the least popular for both groups,

adults

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and

children

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spent 1% and 12% respectively.

Besides

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this

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, videos are more popular between men and boys. Electronic equipment was not really popular for

adults

Use synonyms

with only 5% spent,

meanwhile

Add a comma

meanwhile,

show examples

children

Use synonyms

spent 23% on

this

Linking Words

Submitted by s_syedy on Mon Jul 31 2023

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Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction succinctly presents the essay topic but could be enhanced by directly mentioning that you will compare spending habits between adults and children for clarity.

Data Representation

When introducing percentages and statistics, ensure you clarify whether you're discussing the data for adults or children first to maintain clarity throughout the essay.

Conclusion

For a more robust conclusion, try summarizing the key findings or indicating the significance of the differences in spending habits between adults and children.

Coherence & Cohesion

Including transitions and connectors such as 'however', 'on the other hand', and 'moreover' improves the flow and coherence between your points.

Logical Structure

Effectively organized paragraphs that compare spending habits between adults and children.

Supported Main Points

You were able to provide specific examples and percentages to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Clear & Comprehensive Ideas

The essay gives a clear comparison between the spending habits, successfully showing differences in preferences between adults and children across the categories.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

163 words

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The proportion of income adults and children spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.

Fully explain your ideas

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some scientist thinks that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and messages should be sent to contact them. Other scientists think it is a bad idea and would be dangerous, Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many offenders commit more crime after serving their first punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Human activities have negative effects on the environment. Some people believe it is too late to take measures to prevent animals and plants from dying out. Others think actions should be taken to improve the situation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.