IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line chart shows fish and meat consumption in Europe from 1979 to 2004

The line chart shows fish and meat consumption in Europe from 1979 to 2004
#line #fish #meat #consumption #europe
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The
consumption
Use synonyms
 of Non-Veg in Europe
from1979
Correct your spelling
from 1979
 to 2004 has been illustrated with the help of a line graph.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of chicken has surpassed
Beef
Use synonyms
 and
Lamb
Use synonyms
 over the 25-year period.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, people eating
Beef
Use synonyms
 and
Lamb
Use synonyms
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dropped
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1979 to 2004.
However
Linking Words
, the
consumption
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 of seafood has remained constant without
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
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 fluctuations throughout the quarter.
Initially
Linking Words
, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
beef
Use synonyms
 was the highest being consumed more than 200 grams per person per week and has gone through some instability until 1984. Soon after, in 1984 a small rise followed by a sudden dip between 1984 and 1989 is observed which
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
continued to drop until 2004.
Along side
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Alongside
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Beef
Use synonyms
, eating
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Lamb
Use synonyms
 has followed a similar
trendstarting
Correct your spelling
trend starting
 from 150 grams per person per week.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Chicken has gained
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
popularity and experienced a gradual-varying rise, crossing
Lamb
Use synonyms
 and
Beef
Use synonyms
, reaching its
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 just a little before 2004
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
250-grams
Correct your spelling
250 grams
 per person per week.
Conversly
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Conversely
, Seafood like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fish is not very famous and
infact
Correct your spelling
in fact
 its ingestion
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped
intially
Correct your spelling
initially
 and remained constant with minor fluctuations until 2004.
Submitted by shuaibshariff321 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, beef, lamb with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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