The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant
The bar chart illustrated the information that British college admission who graduated and postgraduate went to do after leaving university in the year 2008. Those
students
who have a job or full-time workers were excluded.
Overall
, the most common was
students
studying
further
and the least common was admission who do voluntary work .
Besides
, it is noticeable that the destination of graduates was exponentially higher than the figure of postgraduates.
Firstly
, with almost 30000, the number of studying
further
was the largest, compared to those who work as a volunteer, was 26500 difference. The
students
who have part-time jobs and those who didn’t have jobs have a number which approximates to each other, with almost 17800 and 16300 if rounded. Those who did
further
study
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
the highest with 2,725 and the lowest was voluntary work, with only 345
students
. Those 2 were the biggest and smallest group respectively for postgraduates. Followed by
students
who have a part-time job and were unemployed with 2,535 and 1,625.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • full-time work
  • graduate
  • postgraduate
  • trends
  • part-time work
  • further study
  • gap year
  • traveling
  • unemployment
  • percentages
  • proportion
  • significant differences
  • subsequent activities
  • career progression
  • academic advancement
  • job market
  • vocational training
  • data interpretation
  • employment sector
  • career-oriented steps
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