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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Methods of transporation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK. The two pie charts compare five categories of UK travelling percentage of university (train, bicycle, bus, walking, car,) from 2004 to 2009) Units are measured in proportion.

Methods of transporation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK. The two pie charts compare five categories of UK travelling percentage of university (train, bicycle, bus, walking, car,) from 2004 to 2009) Units are measured in proportion.
#methods #transporation #people #university #work #study #uk #two #five #categories #percentage #train #bicycle #bus #car #units #proportion
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The pie chart
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 of
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
kind
Change preposition
of kind
show examples
 of transportation for
people
Use synonyms
 travelling to one college for either work or study in 2 different years, 200 and 2009 in British.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that trains, one of the transportation have been used the least
while
Linking Words
 car or bus took the most transport being used by peoples. In the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2004, the figure gives information that
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 have been the
methods
Fix the agreement mistake
method
show examples
 of transportation that
people
Use synonyms
 commonly used, accounting for 51%, more than half of the pie chart. Followed by bus with lower than the previous transport 18%.
Bicycle
Add an article
The bicycle
A bicycle
show examples
 was rarely
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used with just 9%,
people
Use synonyms
 who prefer
walked
Change the verb form
to walk
show examples
 to
office
Add an article
the office
an office
show examples
 or work and
people
Use synonyms
 who used
train
Correct article usage
the train
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 approximately each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
, with
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
% difference, 4% and 3% each. 5 years later,
2009
Change preposition
in 2009
show examples
. The percentages for each have fluctuated. The most used vehicle
belong
Correct subject-verb agreement
belongs
show examples
 to
bus
Add an article
the bus
a bus
show examples
, it took 46%, an rapidly increased. Next was
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 with 28%,
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 fast dropped. Surprisingly,
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 took
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third place with
6
Correct article usage
a 6
show examples
% difference from the year 2004. The walking method and
train
Wrong verb form
training
show examples
 still approximately with 6% and 4%, they have increased, but not a big jump
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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