IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph below illustrates the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton over a period of 30 years between 1980 and 2010.

The line graph below illustrates the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton over a period of 30 years between 1980 and 2010.
The diagrams provide information about the
qualities
Fix the agreement mistake
quality
show examples
 of visitors to the UK for some
tipe
Correct your spelling
types
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attractions in Brighton from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, applying
Correct article usage
a smallet
show examples
smallet
Correct your spelling
smallest
small
 minority of the total to
pier
Add an article
the pier
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, to
pavilion
Add an article
the pavilion
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, art
gelleres
Correct your spelling
galleries
 and festivals
Add a missing verb
have aproximately
show examples
aproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 qualities.
It is clear that
Linking Words
pier
Correct article usage
the pier
show examples
 was out of favour for
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 in 1980(10%).By applying the contrast, festivals
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 virtually
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
atrractions
Correct your spelling
attractions
attraction
 with 30% in 1980.
Although
Linking Words
, art
galleres
Correct your spelling
galleries
 took just 22% in 1980.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 pavilions
atractions
Correct your spelling
attractions
 was begin in 1980 from 23%
then
Linking Words
 by far surged to just 48% after
15-year
Correct your spelling
15 years
 and ended
31
Change preposition
at 31
show examples
%
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the period.
Whereas
Linking Words
, pier
atractions
Correct your spelling
attractions
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 completed with 22% in 2010.
Although
Linking Words
, art
gellery
Correct your spelling
gallery
 gradually increased to the top 35% in 1985 and ended with 9%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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