IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Topic: Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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With developing globalisation and tourism activities,
people
Use synonyms
 could catch a chance to travel to foreign countries in their leisure time.
This
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 situation causes some positive and negative results for local
people
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 and their countries, and I would like to express my views from my perspective. 
To begin
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 with, every country
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 different rules and laws to organise
people
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's daily life.
For instance
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, especially in scalding hot summertime, some Mediterranean countries' authorities are not allowed to go into the forest area to protect the environment and wildlife from bush fire.
As a result
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 of
this
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 condition, foreign
people
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 have to obey
this
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 rule to respect local
people
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's rule and they ought to think to be in their shoes.
On the other hand
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, it is clear to say that tourism activities are a significant opportunity for sources of revenue.
For example
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, in the summertime, owners of stores in the countryside have a chance to gain income from tourist attractions.
Such
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 as, during the nighttime, tourists would like to enjoy dancing to a piece of noisy music in their free time. Some local
people
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 would have some complaints,
while
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 the owner of the store would earn money in the same condition. As locals,
people
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 should think about their vacation time and try to understand their specific conditions.
Thus
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, local
people
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 and tourists could interact with each other in a peaceful way. All things to be considered, travelling to another country is one the best
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to learn and engage with other cultures.
However
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,
people
Use synonyms
 should always care about their
people
Use synonyms
's living conditions.

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Task Response
The introduction lacks a clear opinion on the topic. It's important to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure with separate paragraphs for different ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and supporting details.
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