The line graph grap illustrates the changes in employment trends over a period of 70 years in the United States.

#line #grap #changes #employment #trends #period #years #states

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The line graph

grap

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graph

illustrates the changes in employment trends over a period of 70 years in the United States. It

ís

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noticeable that the majority of the American workforce was engaged in farming, fishing, and forestry activities,

while

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industries

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sales

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and office jobs,

technology

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, and other services had relatively low employment rates in

ratesin

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rates in

rates

1930.

However

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, over the next 70 years, the number of workers employed in farming, fishing, and forestry decreased significantly,

while

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those working in

sales

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and offices,

industries

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, and

technology

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increased. In 1930, over 75% of the US

labor

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labour

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force worked in farming, fishing, and forestry.

This

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percentage gradually decreased until 1970 and

then

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dropped even

further

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, reaching only around 3% by 2010.

This

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represented a decrease of over 70% over the 70-year period. Other service

industries

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witnessed a slight decrease of approximately 5% over the same period.

In contrast

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, the percentages of workers employed in

sales

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and offices,

as well as

Linking Words

industries

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and

technology

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, increased slightly from 1930 to 1970. All three fields witnessed a robust rise from 1970 to 2010. The percentage of workers in

sales

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and offices increased by approximately 8%,

while

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that of

industries

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and

technology

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rapidly accelerated, reaching a similar percentage of around 35%.

This

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represented an

overall

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increase of approximately 25% for these two fields.

Submitted by joyce.ta213 on Fri Aug 04 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words industries, sales, technology with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

216 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

line graph
employment trends
period of 70 years
United States
changes
trends
overview
patterns
initial changes
significant shifts
impact
economic factors
findings

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The line graph grap illustrates the changes in employment trends over a period of 70 years in the United States.

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe that it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered ‘role models', and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Does the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace human in workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have positive or negative impact on society?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?