The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. (20

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  Write at least 150 words.   (20
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bar graph shows the consumption of
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
ownership
during 2002 to 2010 and the level of education from 2002 to 2010 the displayed
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
of No high
school
diploma, High
school
graduate, College, Bachelor’s degree and Postgraduate qualification. The graph
revels
Correct your spelling
reveals
show examples
the following Important facts.
Firstly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overall
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
computer
ownership
was sharply
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
from 2002 to 2010.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
ownership
by education level
also
rise
Change the verb form
rises
show examples
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
2002 to 2010.
Therefore
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2002,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
ownership
, there
were climb
Change the verb form
climbed
show examples
from 55
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
in 2002 to 75
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
in 2010. There
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
dramatically
increase
Change the form of the verb
increased
show examples
over
Change preposition
of over
show examples
25
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
of
computer
ownership
by education level. In 2002, there were over 15 % from No high
school
diploma and 35% from high
school
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
less than but in 2010, has
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
to 35% and 60%.
Moreover
, the college, Bachelor’s degree and postgraduate qualification
were grow
Change the verb form
were grown
were growing
show examples
from 55%, 65% and 75% in 2002 to over 75% which postgraduate qualification was higher In 90 % in 2010.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
Vocabulary: Replace the words computer, ownership, school with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consistent increase
  • growing reliance on technology
  • clear correlation
  • digital divide
  • notable growth
  • most pronounced disparity
  • gap reduced considerably
  • percentage growth
  • higher educational levels
  • educational groups
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