IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK in 1990.

The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK in 1990.
#bar #expenditure #million #pounds #food #items #income #groups #uk
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The bar chart illustrates the fast
food
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 items expenditure in
Million
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pounds
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 by
income
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 groups in the UK in 1990 (including
Use synonyms
humburger
Correct your spelling
hamburger
hamburgers
, pizza, fish and chips).
Overall
Linking Words
,
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humburger
Correct your spelling
hamburger
 was the most bought item by
people
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 with high
income
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 and average
income
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 .
Whereas
Linking Words
, fish and chips
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 bought mostly by
people
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 with low
income
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. With the most popular
food
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 -
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humburger
Correct your spelling
hamburger
hamburgers
,
people
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 with high
income
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 spent most on
this
Linking Words
food
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 with more than 45
million
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pounds
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, followed by
people
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 with average
income
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 ( they spent 35
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
food
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)
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
people
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 with low
income
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 spent only 15
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
 on
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humburger
Correct your spelling
hamburger
hamburgers
. Regarding the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
fish and chips,
people
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 with
average
Correct article usage
an average
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income
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 spent
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 on it (they spent 25
million
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pounds
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
food
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).
Whereas
Linking Words
,
people
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 with high
income
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 and low
income
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
spent
spen
Correct your spelling
spend
 around 15
million
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pounds
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 for it With pizza,
people
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 with high
Use synonyms
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
 spent nearly 20
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
.
People
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 with average
income
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 spent
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
half of 20
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
pounds
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 and
people
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 with low
income
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 spent more
Change preposition
than one
show examples
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of 20
million
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pounds
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 pizza.
Submitted by nhungnguyen1209931 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, million, pounds, income, humburger, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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