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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is claimed that if an employee chooses a job, he or she will carefully consider
about
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the
salary
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 which is paid by the company. From my personal perspective, I partly agree with
this
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 statement. There are many reasons why people believe that the
salary
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 is the most crucial concern for many individuals when they choose a job.
Firstly
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, they want to make sure that
this
Linking Words
salary
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 is enough for them to lead their lives or meet their basic needs.
Moreover
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, they can
also
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 lend their assistance to their family members or friends when they are in times of need.
Besides
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 that, they can use their own money to buy what they want
such
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 as phones, laptops, books, and so on.
For instance
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, if their parents get sick, they can use their
salary
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 to take them to the hospital and pay some expenses like medicines, the cost of living in a hospital, or the cost of booking the doctor.
On the other hand
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, some do not consider too much about the
salary
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. When they have just graduated from their universities or colleges, they often want to undergo more experience and broaden their horizons about the world, and work.
Thus
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, they usually have a tendency to lose themselves in various workplaces to gain more knowledge of their surroundings. To demonstrate,
the
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teenagers often prefer figuring out more about one firm’s workplace environment, and their employers’ or colleagues' attitudes to
concerning
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concerns
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 about the
salary
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. To sum it up,
salary
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 plays an important role in our lives and help us do a lot of things
such
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 as travelling all over the world, or raising a fund to help handicapped kids in some poor areas.
However
Linking Words
, it is not the first thing or the most vital consideration that we should think about when we choose or want to apply for any position in any plant.

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task response
Provide more specific examples and elaboration to support your points. Ensure that all points directly relate to the question prompt.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are logically organized and linked together. Use transition words and phrases to improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to include more precise and varied terms. Pay attention to word usage and collocations to enhance the richness of your expression.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and grammatical accuracy. Vary your sentence structures and use a wider range of grammatical forms.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
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