IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because universities are in different places. What are the merits and demerits of both situations?

#university #students #families #home #universities #places #merits #demerits #situations
University
education
 varies
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different locations based on
numours
Correct your spelling
numerous
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of courses, quality of
education
 and its pattern. It is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fact that many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people have to leave their
hometown
Fix the agreement mistake
hometowns
show examples
 for better
education
. Though some of them
fortunate
Add a missing verb
are fortunate
show examples
 enough to get
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
education
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their hometown or
due to
 some circumstances they take their
education
while
 living with their
parents
.
Firstly
, I believe living with
parents
 is always better
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any stage.
Parents
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 you the additional support and protect you from any kind of harsh situation.
Parents
keeps
Change the verb form
keep
show examples
 track
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 your progress in your life and help you to become a good person.
Students
 staying home with their family don't need to look after
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their household duties. Their lifestyle remains intact and no major change to daily life which makes it easier for them to focus more on their studies and to achieve their future goals.
On the other hand
,
Students
 living
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different location without their family or
parents
 finds huge
chnage
Correct your spelling
changes
 in their lifestyle and daily routine. There are many positives and negatives
while
 living alone for your studies.
Students
 have to manage everything
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own. Either they have to look for their
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
, their groceries or
othere
Correct your spelling
other
 daily requirements. They become more responsible as they need to take care of everything
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own. Some
students
also
 work
while
 their
studies
Replace the word
study
show examples
 to pay their fees which make them
even
Add an article
an even
show examples
 better person.
Whereas
,
Students
also
 have to stay alone which makes them sad or homesick. Sometimes it has been seen that
students
Add a verb
arestudents
werestudents
show examples
 unable to handle pressure and they become addicted to bad
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
 like drugs etc. Living without
parents
 makes you independent but some of them get trapped in
illigle
Correct your spelling
illegal
 activities. conclusion, Living with or without
parents
 for higher
education
 has advantages and disadvantages,
Its
Replace the word
It's
it is
show examples
 upon the student
also
 if he/she can handle the pressure and
strong
Add a missing verb
is strong
show examples
 enough to live independently and can make their own decision for
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 future he/she can study well
while
 living without
parents
otherwise
 he/she can find out good
opertunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 near to their hometown and make their
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
 a good start.
Submitted by hiteshpaul on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: