The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
given bar chart illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
who
many employees from two gender groups have been working in different types of occupations in Australia during the Correct word choice
how
last
year.
Overall
, while
a sizeable majority of Correct article usage
the women
women
population have been clerical, Change noun form
women's
the
huge number of men have been working in Correct article usage
a
trade
realm as Correct article usage
the trade
a
Correct article usage
apply
business man
. Correct your spelling
businessman
Furthermore
, a insignificant number of ladies worked as
Change preposition
in
a
trade person and in the field of production Correct article usage
apply
whereas
a minority of men's community were worker
.
At first glance, Fix the agreement mistake
workers
it is clear that
being trade people
and clerical were the two most common jobs among men and more than 800000 people
were doing these economical
activities Replace the word
economic
while
working as a clerk and a professional were the most regular jobs among women by working more that
700000 Correct word choice
than
people
in those realms.
Moreover
, the less frequent occupations among females have been working as a
Correct article usage
apply
business woman
and working in production fields by 100000 ladies who were doing Correct your spelling
businesswoman
this
types of jobs while
less frequent works among males were working as a labor
and a Change the spelling
labour
semi professional
employees respectively by 500000 and Add a hyphen
semi-professional
less
hired Correct quantifier usage
fewer
people
in these job positions.Submitted by m.v.g1371 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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