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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?​

#people #video #games #fun #tool #effect
Although
 some people believe that
games
 are beneficial for an individual and consider
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 a learning tool, other thought that it is detrimental to the user. In my opinion, video
games
 do have more disadvantages compared to advantages. Starting with the benefits it helps to develop soft
skills
such
 as critical thinking and problem-solving
skills
.
While
 playing these
games
 individual tries to solve the mystery, results will think out of the box and eventually will solve the obstacle which was coming his or her way.
For example
,
study
Add an article
the study
a study
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
New
Correct article usage
the New
show examples
 York
times
Capitalize word
Times
show examples
 proved that children who indulge in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
video
games
 are more likely to solve
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 compared to
non gamers
Add a hyphen
non-gamers
show examples
. Even though it helps to polish the soft
skills
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the physical health of gamers is totally opposite of that. As videos
games
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 require long sitting hours and only hand movements, which adversely
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the spinal cord and other joints causing various health issues like back pain,
joints
Change the noun form
joint
show examples
 pain and many more.
According to
 the report by World Health Organization physical pain among new generations has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased because of less physical
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
. Adding more, the interest of people
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 computer
games
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 their social
skills
. Because these computer
games
 are so
addicted
Replace the word
addictive
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gamers would tend to enjoy their own company rather than
indulging
Wrong verb form
indulge
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 social activities. To
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
this
 the survey by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Harvard University claimed that the number of divorces has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 two decades because of the e-
games
. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society would be benefitted
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic
games
 only if it would be handled carefully,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 most of the time
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will arise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical and social problems which cause destruction and disturbance in human life.
Submitted by akankasha980 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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