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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The graph explains the proportion of overweight
between
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apply
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boys and girls aged
from12
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from 12
to
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from
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 19 in the US
accoring
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according
 to their background, in 2004 and 2014. Generally speaking, what stands out from
diagram
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the diagram
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 is that in 2014 the percentage of obesity was higher among all studied groups. In 2004,
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hispanic
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Hispanics
 was the
most fat
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fattest
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 group with 13%,
while
Linking Words
non-
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non-Hispanic
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hispanic
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 white placed
in
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apply
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second with only
1
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a 1
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%
diffrence
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difference
.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
non
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non-hispanic
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hispanic
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 black people
was
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were
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 the least overweight
catagory
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category
 with 11% and 1% difference with
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a non-hispanic
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non-
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non-Hispanic
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hispanic
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 white. In 2014, same as 2004,
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hispanic
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Hispanics
 had the highest percentage of fat people with 27%.
However
Linking Words
, the
cahnge
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change
 between each bracket was much greater
compare
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compared
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 to ten years ago, and the figure for non-
hispanic
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 white and
non
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non-hispanic
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hispanic
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 black was 17% and 20%
respectivaly
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respectively
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hispanic with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Prevalence
  • Obesity rates
  • Ethnicity
  • Demographics
  • Gender disparity
  • Ethnic groups
  • Statistical increase/decrease
  • Trend
  • Comparative analysis
  • Proportion
  • Percentage
  • Rate of change
  • Decade comparison
  • Fluctuation
  • Consistent pattern
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