The table below shows the proportion of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.

The table below shows the proportion of income spent on 4 common items in the

UK in 1998.
The given table chart represents information on
expenditures
Correct article usage
the expenditures
show examples
of
children
and adults on four prevalent goods in percentages, in the UK in the year 1998.
Overall
, the adults, including men and women spent on
food
most of their income,
whereas
children
, including boys spent mostly on music.
However
, the first category contributed a mere
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of their income on
this
item.
According to
the table, the least
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
,
women
Change preposition
of women
show examples
spent on videos,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is equal to 0.5%. On
food
,
on the other hand
,
this
category of people contributed 39% of their revenues.
Likewise
, adults and men spent 1% and 2% on videos, and 25% and 14%, which is the highest percentages, on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
. All these people spent the same
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
(5%) on music,
also
. Contrastingly,
children
, boys, and girls do not often buy
food
, and throughout the year, spent only 10%, 9%, and 11% on
this
item, respectively. But on
music
Add a comma
,music
show examples
these categories spent the most of their income (from 38% to 40%). Electronic equipment, though, is not a prevalent item, and
children
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the only category, that spent 23%
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because other people spent
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
far less than
this
number.
Submitted by madinatagybergen6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words children, food with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: