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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows a comparison of different kinds of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005.

The chart below shows a comparison of different kinds of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005.
#comparison #kinds #energy #production #france
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The presented pie chart shows data about the proportion of several types of
energy
Use synonyms
 output in France between 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, in France
petrol
Use synonyms
, gas and coal
production
Use synonyms
 constituted the majority of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 for both of the years,
however
Linking Words
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
a percentage
show examples
 of the
petrol
Use synonyms
 industry decreased from 1995 to 2005.
To begin
Linking Words
, in 1995
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of
Petrol
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 accounted for 29.27% of total
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 in France. The figure for Gas and Coal
production
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 29.63% and 29.80% respectively.
The nuclear
Correct article usage
Nuclear
show examples
production
Use synonyms
 amounted to about 6.5%. The indicator for other
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
 was equal to approximately 5% which was
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 produced
energy
Use synonyms
 output type. In 2005, Coal
production
Use synonyms
 was
leader
Correct article usage
the leader
show examples
 position in
Use synonyms
energy
Add an article
the energy
show examples
 sector which increased slightly compared to
previous
Add an article
the previous
a previous
show examples
 period and constituted almost 31%.
However
Linking Words
, compared to
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1995,
Use synonyms
Petrol
Correct article usage
the Petrol
show examples
 industry decreased sharply and
equaled
Change the spelling
equalled
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 to just under 20%. Gas
production
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 rose minimally and comprised
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30.31%. The nuclear and
other sector
Change the wording
another sector
other sectors
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
noticeable
Change the word
noticeably
show examples
 grew and the proportions were 10.10% and 9.1% respectively.
Submitted by samid.mustafayev20 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, petrol, production with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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