The bar chart shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a third year Computer Science course at a Canadian college. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a third year Computer Science course at a Canadian college.

Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates how many
students
from five foreign
countries
enrolled in a
third year
Add a hyphen
third-year
show examples
computer science course at a Canadian college.
Overall
, the
number
of female
students
is larger than that of male ones, and women tend to choose
net working
Add a hyphen
net-working
show examples
core
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
compared to men. The
number
of
students
from China, including 8 men and 9 women, is the largest in the graph. And more than
three fourths
Add a hyphen
three-fourths
show examples
of female
students
enrolled in
network
Correct article usage
the network
show examples
core option,
although
only
a
Change the article
an
show examples
eighth of male
students
chose that option.
This
tendency is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
as in
students
from Singapore and Malaysia
while
the student’s
number
from both
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
countries
is smaller than that of China.
On the other hand
, only
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Sri
lanka
Change the capitalization
Lanka
show examples
, the
number
of women is smaller than that of men. Focusing on France female
students
who entered in
net working
Correct your spelling
networking
show examples
option do not exist
contrast
Change preposition
in contrast
show examples
to other
countries
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
. The table provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
data about journeys made by different forms of
transport
such
as;
car
, bicycle, public
transport
and on foot in four
countries
including
Canada
, Belgium, Germany and
Correct article usage
the Netherland
show examples
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
show examples
. And the bar chart illustrates the result of a survey about
car
use
in
Canada
.
Overall
, the
use
of
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
is much more popular than other transportation in all
countries
, and in
Canada
, the main reasons that people
use
cars are
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
for work and
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of other methods. Focusing on
car
use
, it is the most popular mode of
transport
in each country, especially in
Canada
, 90%
journeys
Change preposition
of journeys
show examples
are made by
car
.
Although
bike
Add an article
the bike
show examples
is the least popular means in almost all
countries
, it has great popularity following the
car
in
Correct article usage
the Netherland
show examples
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
show examples
and 26% of journeys are made by
bicycles
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycle
show examples
in the nation. Examining public
transport
and on foot, they are used as modes for travel at about 10% on average. Considering
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
use
in
Canada
, Canadians
use
cars mainly because of
Correct pronoun usage
their needs
show examples
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
for work or no alternatives.
Also
, there are some other reasons,
for example
, cars are convenient,
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
is quicker than other
transport
and they have to work nightshift.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, overall".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, countries, number, transport, car, canada, use with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrollment
  • overseas students
  • third year
  • Computer Science course
  • Canadian college
  • trends
  • plateau
  • significant changes
  • economic factors
  • educational reputation
  • dynamics
  • implications
  • resource planning
  • classroom diversity
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