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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of experts in 2016 compared with 2015.

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of experts in 2016 compared with 2015.
#value #country’s #exports #categories #percentage #change #category #experts
The provided chart and table illustrate the
export
earnings
 of a country and changes in each product between 2015 and 2016. It is clearly observed from the chart that over the period, the highest earning in both years was for petroleum
products
,
whereas
 the lowest amount of
export
 accounted for textiles.
Moreover
, the significant change in
value
 was for textiles ,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 gems and jewellery underwent a decrease in
value
.
To begin
 with, the highest amount of
export
earnings
 was for petroleum
products
 in 2015 about 61
billion
 and in 2016 approximately 63
billion
, whilst there was a 3% growth in petroleum
products
’ values.
In addition
, the figure for engineered goods in 2015 was 58
billion
 which fell below that of in 2016 about 62
billion
.
Whereas
, engineered goods values saw an increase of 8.5 %. Gems and jewellery
export
earnings
 in both years fluctuated around 42
billion
 and these
products
 had a drop in their values by about 5.18 %.
Furthermore
, the
earnings
 of agricultural
products
 were approximately equal to each other in both years and their
value
 went up about 0.81%.
Finally
, the proportion of textiles in 2015 was about 26
billion
,
while
 that was 31
billion
 in 2016.
In addition
, its
value
 increased dramatically by about 15.24%.
Submitted by fatemeh.gh9797 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, whereas".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words export, earnings, products, value, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
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