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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of experts in 2016 compared with 2015.

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of experts in 2016 compared with 2015.
The provided chart and table illustrate the
export
Use synonyms
earnings
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 of a country and changes in each product between 2015 and 2016. It is clearly observed from the chart that over the period, the highest earning in both years was for petroleum
products
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest amount of
export
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 accounted for textiles.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the significant change in
value
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 was for textiles ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 gems and jewellery underwent a decrease in
value
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the highest amount of
export
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earnings
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 was for petroleum
products
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 in 2015 about 61
billion
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 and in 2016 approximately 63
billion
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, whilst there was a 3% growth in petroleum
products
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’ values.
In addition
Linking Words
, the figure for engineered goods in 2015 was 58
billion
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 which fell below that of in 2016 about 62
billion
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
, engineered goods values saw an increase of 8.5 %. Gems and jewellery
export
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earnings
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 in both years fluctuated around 42
billion
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 and these
products
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 had a drop in their values by about 5.18 %.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
earnings
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 of agricultural
products
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 were approximately equal to each other in both years and their
value
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 went up about 0.81%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the proportion of textiles in 2015 was about 26
billion
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,
while
Linking Words
 that was 31
billion
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 in 2016.
In addition
Linking Words
, its
value
Use synonyms
 increased dramatically by about 15.24%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, whereas".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words export, earnings, products, value, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
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