The graphs below show the percentage of math graduates and all graduates who got full time job after graduating from a university in Australia and also show the average salary of both these types of grads, from 2004 to 2012.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graphs below show the percentage of math graduates and all graduates who got full time job after graduating from a university in Australia and also show the average salary of both these types of grads, from 2004 to 2012.

The line chart and table give information

for

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the proportion of

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

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employment

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and average yearly

salary

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for

Math

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and all

graduates

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from an Australian university in an eight-

year

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period, between the

Use synonyms

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

2004 and 2012.

it is clear that

Linking Words

the Maths

graduates

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surpassed all

graduates

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for

both

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fulltime

Correct your spelling

full-time

show examples

employment

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and average

salary

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Additionally

Linking Words

, the percentage of

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

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time

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employment

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remained unchanged over the

year

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period,

whereas

Linking Words

the salaries go up with

time

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. In 2004, the proportion of

Math

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graduates

Use synonyms

got

Correct pronoun usage

who got

show examples

fulltime

Correct your spelling

full-time

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

was 80%,

while

Linking Words

only 65% of all

graduates

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guaranteed

Add a missing verb

were guaranteed

show examples

fulltime

Correct your spelling

full-time

show examples

employment

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. The percentage of

both

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Maths and all

graduates

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slightly increased

Change preposition

by approximate

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approximate

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approximately

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10% over two years.

However

Linking Words

, after the

year

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2008, the proportion dropped for

both

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and made up the same values in 2012 compared to the

year

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2004. Looking at the statistic for the average

salary

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in two years, 2004 and 2006,

Math

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and all

graduates

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was the same

salary

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with $41,000 and $43,000. The salaries of

both

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math

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and all

graduates

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rose continuously with

time

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but

math

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graduates

Change noun form

graduates'

graduate's

show examples

Use synonyms

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

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went up higher and more rapidly than all

graduates

Use synonyms

in the next six years. In 2012,

Math

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graduates

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got pay of $56,000

while

Linking Words

others got only $51,000.

anhnguhongmai

Aug 15, 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words time, employment, salary, math, graduates, year, both with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go up" was used 2 times.

▼

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

202 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

employment rate
percentage of graduates
full-time job
average salary
trend analysis
comparison
unemployment
economic conditions
graduate population
specified period

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The graphs below show the percentage of math graduates and all graduates who got full time job after graduating from a university in Australia and also show the average salary of both these types of grads, from 2004 to 2012.

2.These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

there are to much noise in public areas in cities. what is the main cause? how local authorities and people living in this area solve this problem?

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion

Increasing numbers of workers are suffering from stress and stress-related illnesses. Why is the modern workplace so stressful and what can be done to reduce this problem?