The graphs below show the percentage of math graduates and all graduates who got full time job after graduating from a university in Australia and also show the average salary of both these types of grads, from 2004 to 2012.

#graphs #show #percentage #math #graduates #time #job #university #australia #salary #grads

The line chart and table give information

for

Change preposition

show examples

the proportion of

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

employment

and average yearly

salary

for

Math

and all

graduates

from an Australian university in an eight-

year

period, between the

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

2004 and 2012.

it is clear that

the Maths

graduates

surpassed all

graduates

for

both

fulltime

Correct your spelling

full-time

show examples

employment

and average

salary

Additionally

, the percentage of

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

employment

remained unchanged over the

year

period,

whereas

the salaries go up with

time

. In 2004, the proportion of

Math

graduates

got

Correct pronoun usage

who got

show examples

fulltime

Correct your spelling

full-time

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

was 80%,

while

only 65% of all

graduates

guaranteed

Add a missing verb

were guaranteed

show examples

fulltime

Correct your spelling

full-time

show examples

employment

. The percentage of

both

Maths and all

graduates

slightly increased

Change preposition

by approximate

show examples

approximate

Change the word

approximately

show examples

10% over two years.

However

, after the

year

2008, the proportion dropped for

both

and made up the same values in 2012 compared to the

year

2004. Looking at the statistic for the average

salary

in two years, 2004 and 2006,

Math

and all

graduates

was the same

salary

with $41,000 and $43,000. The salaries of

both

math

and all

graduates

rose continuously with

time

but

math

graduates

Change noun form

graduates'

graduate's

show examples

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

went up higher and more rapidly than all

graduates

in the next six years. In 2012,

Math

graduates

got pay of $56,000

while

others got only $51,000.

Submitted by anhnguhongmai on Tue Aug 15 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words time, employment, salary, math, graduates, year, both with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go up" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

202 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

employment rate
percentage of graduates
full-time job
average salary
trend analysis
comparison
unemployment
economic conditions
graduate population
specified period

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The graphs below show the percentage of math graduates and all graduates who got full time job after graduating from a university in Australia and also show the average salary of both these types of grads, from 2004 to 2012.

Across the world, local shops are closing due to losing customers to online competitors. What problems does this produce? And what solutions can you suggest to overcome them?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is predicted that robotsare going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development?

Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while others argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Levels of consumer debt are increasing across the world. To address this, a new subject should be introduced in secondary schools: how to manage personal finances. To what extent do you agree with this statement?