Many jobs require ongoing training and research to stay competitive in a world with rapidly evolving information and technology. Some believe that it is the responsibility of businesses to pay for this training for their staff while others feel it is up to the individual. Discuss both views and give your own opnion.

A numerous
Correct the article-noun agreement
Numerous
show examples
jobs acquire training
courses
throughout information technology was changed quickly. Few people think that
businesses
was
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
charged with lessons for their staff.
While
others consider that was paid educational programs by
employees
. In my opinion, I agree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
coursework needs to be paid for by employers in order to help their
employees
improve themself. On the one hand, there are several reasons to invest course of study for
employees
.
Firstly
, the
employees
will
be upgraded
Wrong verb form
upgrade
show examples
their skills through
courses
.
This
can lead business owners will assign more tasks to them.
Moreover
, they will help
companies
to estimate the resources for the purpose of making a profit for the organizations.
For example
, if workers
upgraded
Wrong verb form
upgrade
show examples
their skills to become senior
employees
through the enterprise course, they can resolve arduous problems and not find persons who can solve them.
Thus
, the
companies
have
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
quality working population in their workspaces.
On the other hand
, there are drawbacks when
businesses
put
money
into some
courses
for
employees
.
Firstly
,
businesses
are afraid of
employees
leaving the
companies
if
employee's
Change noun form
employees
show examples
companies
have opportunities to move to another company causing the company to lose a bunch of
money
.
Secondly
, the enterprise would like to run business rapidly, it is a
such
hard thing that the
businesses
don't have time to train.
For instance
, if
businesses
release new products to the market, they need to focus on those who can ability to do it and look for new persons on the market
Fix the infinitive
to helps
show examples
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
the
companies
.
Hence
, the
companies
do not want to invest the
money
in some
courses
for members of staff. In conclusion, nowadays we live in the 21st century when technology develops,
businesses
need to invest
money
in their
employees
in order to adapt to things demanded by the market. I strongly agree that
businesses
sink
money
into their
employees
, one day they will be paid off and have a quality working population.
Submitted by nguyenhungvy090499 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Develop the introduction and conclusion to provide a clearer overview of the essay content.
task achievement
Elaborate on your ideas by providing more specific examples and fully addressing the views of both sides of the argument.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: