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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices ot three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices ot three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph shows the percentage of monthly change in prices of
copper
Use synonyms
, nickel, and
also
Linking Words
 zinc throughout 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, every commodity fluctuated for all 12
months
Use synonyms
.
Copper
Use synonyms
 started January with the highest price which reached 6%.
Then
Linking Words
, it dropped for the next 2 years until March and stayed at the same value until April. Unfortunately, it continued to decline and touched its lowest
point
Use synonyms
 in June. It rose sharply in July and remained stable at -1% until September.
Finally
Linking Words
, in December it reached 1%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Copper
Use synonyms
 started at 2% in January. It was decreasing to -0.5% in May but remained steady until June. It increased to 1% in July and remained stable for the next following 2
months
Use synonyms
. In October, it decrease to 0.5% and reached the final number 1.5%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Zinc started at 1% in January. Unlike the other metals, it increased in February significantly to 3%.
However
Linking Words
, it was declining for the next 4
months
Use synonyms
 until June to its lowest
point
Use synonyms
. It rose a little bit to -0.5% in July. But, it decreased again to -1% in October. It jumped for the next 2
months
Use synonyms
 and reached the final
point
Use synonyms
 of 2%. Both
copper
Use synonyms
, nickel, and zinc had fluctuation for 12
months
Use synonyms
 but reached their lowest
point
Use synonyms
 in July. The three
also
Linking Words
 remained steady from July to September.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words copper, months, point with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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