IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society? You should write at least 254 words.

#students #science #subjects #university #countries #effects #society
Students in some country recently
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 less interest
majoring
Change preposition
in majoring
show examples
since
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in university. The main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 problem could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
arise
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the student themselves and
this
 essay will discuss more
abaout
Correct your spelling
about
 the issues
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the given paragraph. On the one hand, since is a
subject
 that needs a
alot
Correct your spelling
lot
a lot
 of concentration and more effort. For some juvenile who does not want to get
involve
Change the form of the verb
involved
show examples
 in some strict learning
athmosphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 they give up on
this
subject
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 learning since could lead them to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 brighter future. They tend to choose
others major
Fix the agreement mistake
other majors
show examples
 even randomly just to achieve their
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
 or
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
 degree without
pay
Change the verb form
paying
show examples
 attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the result and the benefits.
On the other hand
, living in
this
periode
Correct your spelling
period
 of time we need many
well rounded
Add a hyphen
well-rounded
show examples
 people
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a scientist.
This
 kind of
subject
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 important for
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
in general
Add the comma(s)
, in general,
show examples
 to support the
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 of our community in the recent day
more over
Correct your spelling
moreover
show examples
 for the future of the country
globaly
Correct your spelling
globally
.
For instance
; we need
chemist
Add an article
a chemist
show examples
 to
analize
Correct your spelling
analyze
analyse
 and solve environmental and
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 issues
however
 when the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student
choose
Correct pronoun usage
who choose
show examples
 the
subject
 are limited
then
 it could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
we hired
expert
Add an article
an expert
show examples
 from abroad.
Thus
 when we did not have enough
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
young people
learn
Fix the infinitive
to learn
show examples
 that
subject
, it will create difficulties
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our community.
To conclude
, the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the lower number of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 science in some
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 mainly comes
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their own
choises
Correct your spelling
choices
 which is they find it hard to
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 and
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
 for the simple one.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
,
this
 condition could create some
drowbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society which is hard to find their own
scientific
Replace the word
science
show examples
 to tackle every
issues
Change to a singular noun
issue
show examples
 related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
subject
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: