The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The bar chart compares the proportion of
men
and women
who did daily physical exercises in different age
categories during 2010.
Overall
, it can be seen that the percentage
of women
who had routine exercise increased when their age
of them become more and more. However
, in the men
category with increasing age
of them, the percentage
of men
who had regular activity decreased.
Men
had the highest percentage
of daily exercise with 52.8% in the 15 to 24 age
category. Although
this
trend fell down and reach the minimum point with only 39.2% of men
between 35 to 44 years old. However
, in higher age
categories, the percentage
of them recovered and increased to 46.7 % in 65 and over men
.
On the other hand
, from the 47.7 % of women
between 15 to 24 who did exercise there is an increase and they reached a peak of 53.3 % in the 45 to 54 age
category. Although
, at higher ,ages it became lower and finally
declined to 47.1 % in women
who were 65 and over years old.Submitted by sajjad on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, however".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, age, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!