The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
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The bar chart compares the proportion of
men
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and
women
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who did daily physical exercises in different
age
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categories during 2010.
Overall
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, it can be seen that the
percentage
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of
women
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who had routine exercise increased when their
age
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of them become more and more.
However
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, in the
men
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category with increasing
age
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of them, the
percentage
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of
men
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who had regular activity decreased.
Men
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had the highest
percentage
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of daily exercise with 52.8% in the 15 to 24
age
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category.
Although
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this
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trend fell down and reach the minimum point with only 39.2% of
men
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between 35 to 44 years old.
However
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, in higher
age
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categories, the
percentage
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of them recovered and increased to 46.7 % in 65 and over
men
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.
On the other hand
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, from the 47.7 % of
women
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between 15 to 24 who did exercise there is an increase and they reached a peak of 53.3 % in the 45 to 54
age
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category.
Although
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, at higher ,ages it became lower and
finally
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declined to 47.1 % in
women
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who were 65 and over years old.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, however".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, age, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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