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Band 6.5

The three pie charts illustrate the proportion of undergraduates, postgraduates and all total student population in a British university library, while the table below shows the number of hours spent by students.

The three pie charts illustrate the proportion of undergraduates, postgraduates and all total student population in a British university library, while the table below shows the number of hours spent by students.
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The three pie charts illustrate the proportion of undergraduates, postgraduates and
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 total student population in a British university
library
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the table below shows the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent by
students
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of postgraduates who spent fifteen
hours
Use synonyms
 or more in the
library
Use synonyms
 was very close to the whole
students
Use synonyms
 who spent 1 to 7
hours
Use synonyms
 in the
library
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 in
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 charts most
students
Use synonyms
 spent 1-7
hours
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
(in
total
Add an article
a total
show examples
 of 130 per
cent
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
),
on the other hand
Linking Words
, a modest one is 15 or more
hours
Use synonyms
 spent in
Use synonyms
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 (in
total
Add an article
a total
show examples
 of 75 per
cent
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
). Meanwhile, it is
noticeably
Change the word
noticeable
show examples
 that the average number of all three pie charts are take 8 to 14
hours
Use synonyms
 spent in
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
a library
show examples
. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
tiny
Add an article
a tiny
show examples
 minority of undergraduates and all
students
Use synonyms
(15 and 9 per
cent
Use synonyms
) who spent 15+
hours
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 postgraduates
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
same
Change the article
a same
the same
show examples
 number of
hours
Use synonyms
 have a massive 51 per
cent
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words library, hours, students, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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