The two pie charts illustrate some employment patterns by sex in Great Britain in 1992, while the table below shows the occupations of each manual and non-manual.

The two pie charts illustrate some employment patterns by sex in Great Britain in 1992, while the table below shows the occupations of each manual and non-manual.
The two pie charts illustrate some employment patterns by sex in Great Britain in 1992,
while
the table below shows the occupations of each manual and non-manual.
Overall
, the female group has a lot of non-manual
criteries
Correct your spelling
criteria
criterion
,
whereas
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
occupation has almost both manual and non-manual
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
show examples
. As we can see there is noticeably 31 per cent of clerical or related
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
prevailing to
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, but
group
Add an article
a group
show examples
of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
job has only a tiny minority (6 per cent).
However
, there are 24 per cent of
craft
Add an article
the craft
show examples
of similar class in
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
faction,
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
female
Add an article
a female
the female
show examples
has only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
3% in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
occupation. There are,
also
fewer interested
works
Replace the word
workers
show examples
among them
such
as general labourers
moreover
other non-manual classes.
To sum up
, there was managerial and professional
as well as
other manual occupations that male and female both engaged in.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!