IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The line graph represents the percentage of visitors to England who experienced four different attractions in Brighton.

The line graph represents the percentage of visitors to England who experienced four different attractions in Brighton.
#line #percentage #visitors #england #four #attractions #brighton
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The process diagram gives the percentage of tourists to England who visited four various attractions in Brighton.We can make sure in
this
Linking Words
 line about
popularity
Correct article usage
the popularity
show examples
attractions
Change preposition
of attractions
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 from 1980 to 2010 year.Tourists prefer to visit
Use synonyms
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
Gallery
Use synonyms
 in 1985 and
Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
show examples
 in 1995 many times. From 1980 to 1985
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
Art
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
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 went up from 22% to 38%.At
this
Linking Words
 time Pavilion significantly increased from 24% to 28%.Unfortunately,
Use synonyms
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
Gallery
Use synonyms
 has gone down from 38% to 22% for 10
years
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
show examples
 is different from than
Art
Use synonyms
Gallery
Use synonyms
.It uplifted from 28% to 48% from 1985 to 1995
years
Use synonyms
.Tourists who visited
Festival
Correct article usage
the Festival
show examples
 gradually
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 from 30% to 25%
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 15
years
Use synonyms
,before
rise
Change the verb form
rising
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 to 28%
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2010
years
Use synonyms
.
Tne
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
 number of
Pier
Fix the agreement mistake
Piers
show examples
 improved from 10% to 12% from 1980 to 1995,
then
Linking Words
soar
Wrong verb form
soared
show examples
 to 22% in the
last
Linking Words
 15
years
Use synonyms
 to 2010.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words art, gallery, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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