IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The line graph represents the percentage of visitors to England who experienced four different attractions in Brighton.

The line graph represents the percentage of visitors to England who experienced four different attractions in Brighton.
#line #percentage #visitors #england #four #attractions #brighton
The process diagram gives the percentage of tourists to England who visited four various attractions in Brighton.We can make sure in
this
 line about
popularity
Correct article usage
the popularity
show examples
attractions
Change preposition
of attractions
show examples
 from 1980 to 2010 year.Tourists prefer to visit
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
Gallery
 in 1985 and
Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
show examples
 in 1995 many times. From 1980 to 1985
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
Art
Gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
 went up from 22% to 38%.At
this
 time Pavilion significantly increased from 24% to 28%.Unfortunately,
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
Gallery
 has gone down from 38% to 22% for 10
years
.
However
,
Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
show examples
 is different from than
Art
Gallery
.It uplifted from 28% to 48% from 1985 to 1995
years
.Tourists who visited
Festival
Correct article usage
the Festival
show examples
 gradually
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 from 30% to 25%
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 15
years
,before
rise
Change the verb form
rising
show examples
 to 28%
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2010
years
.
Tne
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
 number of
Pier
Fix the agreement mistake
Piers
show examples
 improved from 10% to 12% from 1980 to 1995,
then
soar
Wrong verb form
soared
show examples
 to 22% in the
last
 15
years
 to 2010.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words art, gallery, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: