The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.
The table displays the total number of
same day
Add a hyphen
same-day
show examples
and overnight hospital stays in both public and private medical facilities across different Australian starts over
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
year ago,
while
Linking Words
the accompanying pie chart illustrates the percentage of distribution of these days.
Overall
Linking Words
, public
hospitals
Use synonyms
recorded a higher percentage of patient stays than private ones.
In addition
Linking Words
, single-day admissions sightly outnumbered overnight stays. Among the five states shown, New South Wales reported the highest number of admissions to hospital areas,
whereas
Linking Words
South Australia had the lowest percentage, with just under 1,600 visits. When it comes to private
hospitals
Use synonyms
, Victoria’s total number significantly rose. reaching 2,235, closely followed
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
New South Wales.
Then
Linking Words
, South Australia dramatically dropped to 617
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
private medical centres. In conclusion, public
hospitals
Use synonyms
accounted for approximately 60% of all recorded stays, with an equal division between
same day
Add a hyphen
same-day
show examples
and overnight stays. Meanwhile, private
hospitals
Use synonyms
accounted represented the remaining 40%, and 26%
consisting
Wrong verb form
consisted
show examples
of
same day
Add a hyphen
same-day
show examples
visits.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hospitals with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stays" was used 5 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: