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Band 8

The table below shows the estimated literacy rates by region and gender for 2000-2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the estimated literacy rates by region and gender for 2000-2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table provides information on the estimation of the ability of both genders to read and write all around the
world
Use synonyms
 between 2000 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the average rate of literacy all around the globe was 82.2%, which consists of more men than
women
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, based on the chart, males had a high rate of literacy at 87.2%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, looking at the individual score, Europe had the most literate males at 99.2%, which is more than 10% of the
world
Use synonyms
's average rate.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 result, Oceania and the Americas only had a 0.1% difference between them, at 94.2% and 94.1%, respectively. Meanwhile, Asian's men had slightly lower than the
world
Use synonyms
's average, at 85.9%,
while
Linking Words
 African men had lower results at 71.6%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, looking at females around the globe, over three-quarters of females were literate.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, similar to its counterpart, European
women
Use synonyms
 had the most education than other nations, at 98.5%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, over nine out of 10
women
Use synonyms
 (93.2%) in America were literate, which is followed by Oceanian
women
Use synonyms
 at 92.7%.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, Asia and Africa had lower numbers than the
world
Use synonyms
's average.
While
Linking Words
 more than 7 out of 10 Asian
women
Use synonyms
 were literate,
however
Linking Words
, only around half of the African
women
Use synonyms
 had the same education.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words world, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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