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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Our city is hot and dry in summer. So our parents send us camping somewhere cool. My friend went camping for the first time. He is very interested in what kind of place the camp is. I told him about the events of the camp, for example, when I went last year, our teachers gave a real car to a boy who read a lot to make the children happy. My friend started reading as soon as he heard it and told me he was going to win a car at camp.
Some people believe that participating in team sports, such as football, offers more advantages, while others argue that engaging in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is of paramount importance. Despite the notion that participating in individual sports enhances individual skills and self-esteem, I firmly believe that working as a team in a specific sport is more advantageous in promoting teamwork and communication skills.
Nowadays, superannuation is determined by pre-defined times by higher authorities. the majority of society is overwhelmed with set retirement time for every employee while others oppose it and believe that workers need pensions in earlier stages. I completely agree with them. The following paragraph sheds light on the benefits of early retirement.
My name is Fatih Emir Yalçındağ from your company. I writing to you about my new duty to our company. Maybe you know my department and duties changed. Before ı worked in the spare parts office and now ı will work in the technical services department ı liked my last duty but ı really so bored worked that office. Firstly you know ı wanted this ı am so glad about this change and ı should say thank you so much for accepting my request. I started my job in this department for two days but ı think my experience is not enough this reason if possible ı want one more thing if could ı go to a course or an education ı think ı can be a better service staff because now ı can’t do fully my responsibilities. I said this to my chief he said you should talk this with Mr. Sinan. I respect your decision and waiting for your positive response ı want some things will become better.