Some businesses now say that no-one can smoke cigarettes in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree with this?

#businesses #smoke #cigarettes #offices #governments #places

Smoking in public facilities has been banned by governments and businesses. Some

people

feel irritated by their cigarette smoke and some

people

Add a missing verb

are concern

show examples

concern

Replace the word

concerned

show examples

about the health effects of both active and passive smoking. In my opinion, I align with the governments and businesses that are banned from smoking in public places. At

first,

Some

smokers

believe that smoking boosts their metabolism and helps them engage in activities. Research on cigarettes suggests that smoking can stimulate the body to release endorphin hormone, which can increase the heart rate.

As a result

smokers

feel energized and courageous

while

smoking.

On the contrary

, the smoke from cigarettes can cause discomfort to others, making them breathe harder.

Moreover

, smoking

while

riding or working in places with a higher potential for fire incidents can increase the risk of accidents. On the other side, some

people

also

have a concern about the healthy air that they breathe. Recent research has shown that one of the utmost dangerous diseases today is tuberculosis

disease

, which affects the lungs.

This

disease

can result from smoking, and it's not limited to active

smokers

; passive

smokers

also

have a higher chance of contracting the

disease

. In conclusion, by implementing rules

for prohibited

Change preposition

to prohibit

show examples

smoking in public places or in business areas,

the

Correct article usage

show examples

number of

people

could get more pure of fresh air. If

people

had more pure air, the potential

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

like tuberculosis

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

be reduced.

In addition

, it

also

can reduce the

accident

Fix the agreement mistake

accidents

show examples

that could occur from smoking ash, like explosions at oil stations.

Submitted by wilztan6700 on Sat Aug 19 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly introduces the main points and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments.

task response

Provide specific and detailed examples to support your ideas throughout the essay, and ensure that all examples are directly relevant to the topic.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
second-hand smoke
respiratory diseases
healthcare costs
productivity
fire hazards
environmental advantages
aesthetics
non-smokers
personal freedom
well-being
smoking bans

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