IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
All shops in towns and cities will shut down
as a result
 of the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 internet shopping. I disagree that
such
 a scenario will happen because of the benefits that physical stores have over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online ones. I concur that online purchasing is appealing in the 21st century because clients have the convenience of doing it in the comfort of their homes,
thus
 saving time and effort. Customers do not have to stand in long queues
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 cash counters to make purchases.
In addition
, sellers have the opportunity to display a wide range of products for the buyers to make informed choices after a short and quick comparison.
However
, internet buying has a major drawback in that deliveries take a long time.
For instance
, clients may wait for weeks to receive their purchased items. With physical shops in towns and cities, clients have the opportunity to try on clothing and will not have any issues later
them
Change preposition
with them
show examples
 not fitting properly.
Submitted by mmarizani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: