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Band 5.5

The chart illustrates the number of people from history museums, British museums, national museums and science museums who visited different museums in London.

The chart illustrates the number of people from history museums, British museums, national museums and science museums who visited different museums in London.
#people #history #museums #british #science #london
The par graph depicts the citizens who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
visited
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
four kinds of
Add an article
the museum
a museum
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museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 in London;
British
Correct article usage
the British
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museum
,
Correct article usage
the natinal
show examples
natinal
Correct your spelling
national
museum
, and
science
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
museum
. It is clear from the graph that all of them have above a quarter of
million
Correct article usage
a million
show examples
visirter
Correct your spelling
visitors
visiter
 in all
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 except
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
museum
 has less than.
According to
 what is shown, August has the greatest
number
 of
tourest
Correct your spelling
tourist
tourists
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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, it started with a tiny one which was from 250 thousand
folk
Change to a plural noun
folks
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 for
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
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, the maximum was the massive
number
around
Change preposition
of around
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 655 thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
citizens in
British
Add an article
the British
a British
show examples
museum
.
While
 the second greatest was for the same
museum
 at roughly 490,000.
In
Change the preposition
On
show examples
 the contrary, the National has less than it by three
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
show examples
.
To sum up
 we could say that, the massive figure was for August
while
 the tiniest
number
 for October except the British
museum
 keep the great
number
.
Submitted by roua808 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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