The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010 summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010 summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
The
pies
Change the noun form
pie
show examples
chart
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
the percentage of
studnets
Correct your spelling
students
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Britain at one university
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
England that could talk another
language
also
English in both years, 2000 and 2010.
It is clear that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
students
spoke just
spainsh
Correct your spelling
Spanish
in both years.
By contrast
, speaking
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
any
language
dramatically decreased in 2010.
One third
Add a hyphen
One-third
show examples
of British
students
were able to
spainsh
Correct your spelling
Spanish
speaker
Fix the agreement mistake
speakers
show examples
at almost 30% ln 200 and 2010.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
while
only 15% of British
students
spoke
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
another
language
in 2000, rising to 20% in 2010. The proportion of
students
who talk just
English
Correct article usage
the English
show examples
language
fell from 20% in 2000 to only 10% in 2010, which was
an
Change the article
a
show examples
decrease in half.
Similarly
, the number of
pepil
Correct your spelling
pupil
people
of speaking
French
Change the article
the French
show examples
language
was very poor
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
show examples
from 15% to just 10% over the 10-year period.
finally
, talking
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
German and two
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
was without any change,at about
jsut
Correct your spelling
just
10% in both years.
Submitted by alizadehfaeze1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words language, students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: