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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram exposes the expenses of three different types of several groups of UK citizens in 2004. From the graph, we can see that the increase in
age
Use synonyms
 has a significant effect on larger spending on Food and drink.
While
Linking Words
 budgets for Restaurants and hotels declined
along with
Linking Words
 the older people ages. Entertainment was seen rising between the groups.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the expenditure on Restaurants and Hotel has the highest percentage from people under 30 and unfortunately starts to decrease until
reached
Wrong verb form
reaches
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 its lowest percentage in the group 61-75.
Then
Linking Words
 it rose again to around 7% for the next team.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the spending on Entertainment kept rising from the teams of citizens under 30 and peaked at almost 25% for a team of people with
age
Use synonyms
 61-75.
However
Linking Words
, it dropped to 13% for teams of
age
Use synonyms
 76+. Expenses for Food and drink gradually increased for ages under 30
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and kept increasing for the
followings
Change the noun form
following
show examples
 groups until the highest was 25% for the group of
age
Use synonyms
 76+.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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