The diagrams show how the bee makes honey and the stages in the production of honey. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams show how the bee makes honey and the stages in the production of honey. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features and making comparisons where relevant.
The diagrams provide information about some steps of making
honey
by bees and its production by people. Looking from the
overall
perspective it is readily apparent that both ways of production are very complex and consist of
Correct article usage
a numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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of actions. With regards to natural
honey
, its making has six crucial steps.
Firstly
, a queen bee
put
Wrong verb form
puts
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an egg in a honeycomb which
transfer
Change the verb form
transfers
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transffer
Correct your spelling
transfer
to a larva in three days.
Furthermore
, in one week larva is fully grown, and in three weeks bees are leaving the hive. It is known that they
are gathering
Wrong verb form
gather
show examples
nectar from flowers and
leaving
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
it in the hive,
consequently
,
honey
could be made.
According to
artificial manufacturing, the beekeeper should remove the honeycomb from the hive.
Additionally
, special equipment is used in order to extract the product.
Moreover
,
honey
is boiled in order to clean it,
then
it is
putted
Correct your spelling
put
show examples
in jars.
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
show examples
distribution and selling could be realised.
Submitted by sofsya.fedorenko.2001 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words honey with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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