The chart below shows the proportion of males and females in Malaysia who commonly do physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary. Write at least 150 words

The chart below shows the proportion of males and females in Malaysia who commonly do physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.

Write at least 150 words
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The bar chart compares the proportion of males and females of differing
age
Use synonyms
groups
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who frequently undertook physical activity in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
the Malaysian population keeps fit in general, a higher proportion of women than
men
Use synonyms
exercised in 2010, with some
further
Linking Words
differences between
age
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groups
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. Middle-aged females were the most likely to work out,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
, those aged 15 to 24 tended to do the most physical activity. In terms of
men
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’s exercise habits, younger
men
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were much more likely to exercise than older
men
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with 52.8% of those aged under 24 exercising as opposed to only around 40% of older
age
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groups
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By contrast
Linking Words
, around half of all women in all
age
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groups
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reported keeping fit, especially those aged between 35 and 64 at around 53%. The exception was the youngest
age
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group in which only 47.7 per cent of women exercised compared to 52.8% of
men
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, for people 65 and over, approximately 47% of both sexes were recorded regularly working out.
Submitted by irarahmawati.polkesma on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups, men with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • gender distribution
  • physical activity
  • age group
  • percentage
  • comparative analysis
  • peak levels
  • notable differences
  • trends
  • discrepancies
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