Today every body use phone, one of the famous technology that grew very fast and covered all around the word. But because of some problem that caused prohibited at some places. Some people agree with this ban some other disagree.

Technology is escalating globally at a rapid speed

Linking Words

due

Punctuation problem

, due

show examples

to which it has become extremely common to have mobile

phones

Use synonyms

nowadays

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;

show examples

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

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there is a restriction

to use

Change preposition

on using

show examples

smartphones in some areas.

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According to

Change preposition

From

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my perspective, banning

phones

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is an essential step to discourage problematic situations.

To begin

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, since technology has reached its peak point,

phones

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have become

the

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show examples

basic need

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for

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

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. There are numerous tasks that are performed on digital screens

owing

Punctuation problem

, owing

show examples

to which it is hard for civics not to use them in some places.

For instance

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, there are a few vital functions that can not be

ignored

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ignored,

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be it booking a cab online or answering any urgent business video call.

Therefore

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, people are willing to use

phones

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everywhere.

Secondly

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, there are some folks who can not give up on their smartphones even for a second because they are indeed addicted to consuming them as they feel incomplete without their personal

phones

Use synonyms

As a result

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, they disregard the phone prohibition decision of the government. Paradoxically, some citizens support the restriction of telecommunications

in particular

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locations. The prime advantage they bring to the surface is that it would not only bring peace but would

also

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allow an individual to concentrate properly on their work. Libraries are the biggest example of not using

phones

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, which eventually helps people to focus and increase their productivity.

As a result

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, folks will continue to utilise library amenities

due to

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fewer distractions. Another benefit of the same approach is the area where privacy is the utmost priority, and in order to ensure it, mobile phone-restricted zones are made. In most museums, digital equipment is not allowed

Punctuation problem

, so

show examples

the civilians give appreciation to the artist and their work by paying attention and not clicking pictures. In conclusion, even though prohibited places are important to increase the capacity of one's work

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

and to keep things private, there are some circumstances where the usage of

phones

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plays a significant role. I think

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apply

show examples

it is not difficult to follow or adjust in these situations,

Linking Words

hence

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hence,

show examples

civics should learn to adapt to different environments.

chitwan.tamanna09

Aug 24, 2023

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development

Some ideas are not fully clear or explained. State your main view in the first paragraph and plan the reasons you will give.

coherence

Explain each point with a simple example and use clear links to join ideas.

grammar

Keep sentences short and fix long lines. Check grammar and punctuation to avoid slips.

structure

End with a strong finish that restates your view.

examples

Give more precise examples in future, not only general ones.

idea

You give a clear view that phones can be useful and show places where ban may help.

examples

You use examples like libraries and museums to show how a ban can work.

coherence

You try to link ideas with words like 'therefore' and 'but'.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

348 words

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Today every body use phone, one of the famous technology that grew very fast and covered all around the word. But because of some problem that caused prohibited at some places. Some people agree with this ban some other disagree.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

It is important to give children a possibility to act independently and make their own decisions from early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Nowadays, people in most countries decide to have a children later in life. Why do they do so? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree?