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Band 6.5

The line graph provides information about the amount of books that were borrowed in four differen months in 2914 from 4 village libraries, and the pie chart illustrates the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time.

The line graph provides information about the amount of books that were borrowed in four differen months in 2914 from 4 village libraries, and the pie chart illustrates the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time.
The line graph provides information about the amount of
books
Use synonyms
 that were borrowed in four
differen
Correct your spelling
different
 months in 2914 from 4 village libraries, and the pie chart illustrates the percentage of
books
Use synonyms
, by type, that were borrowed over
this
Linking Words
 time.
Overall
Linking Words
, during
this
Linking Words
4 month
Add a hyphen
4-month
show examples
 period,
books
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 taken from Sutton Wood town library reached 300, with all three towns
borrowed
Wrong verb form
borrowing
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 much fewer of them. In June, fifty
books
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 were borrowed from Church Mount village,
as well as
Linking Words
 from West Eaton the amount of
books
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 taken was the same. As can be seen from the graph,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period (
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 September) they ended with
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
 result.
Although
Linking Words
 it is clear from the data that
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed from the Ryeslip experienced a steady fall, from
from
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
three hundred
books
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 to nearly a half. As is presented in the pie chart 43
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
books
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 were
fiction
Change preposition
in fiction
show examples
 genre,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is close to
one half
Add a hyphen
one-half
show examples
 of all types. Meanwhile, for the
giction
Correct your spelling
fiction
, history and science
genres
Add a comma
,genres
show examples
 the pattern appears slightly different. They are just under 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
Self-Help
Correct article usage
the Self-Help
show examples
 type makes
a
Change preposition
up a
show examples
very small proportion of borrowed
books
Use synonyms

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provides" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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