IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #countries #service #men #school #idea #system #women
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that these days compulsory military
service
 for young
men
 after they leave school has a great impact on their personality formulation and makes them more responsible for facing the external environment. The question is what is the importance of compulsory military
service
? In
this
 essay I am going to discuss what's the importance & and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
role of
such
 military services in improving independence and,
Consequently
 the sense of urgency for young
gentleman
Fix the agreement mistake
gentlemen
show examples
. In terms of advantages, military
service
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 the loyalty of young
men
 towards their
countries
 as they get condensed training on how to use weapons and stop any harmful attack that may happen in the future. In ,addition they become more independent in terms of how they will take care of themselves, washing their clothes, preparing their food etc.
also
Capitalize word
Also
show examples
 the diverse
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
 on the mutual objective that to keep their
countries
 safe as much as they can and protect it from any expected or unexpected attack from the enemies in the future. Not only
men
 are the targeted segment but
also
 in Some ,
countries
 young women have an equivalent role towards their
countries
 as both
men's
Change noun form
men
show examples
 and women are partners in one home country.
Hence
, the defensive role against the enemy's attack should be one of the major responsibilities. In conclusion, I totally agree with the statement that relies on applying compulsory military
service
 for all healthy, qualified members in the country regardless the gender bias.
Submitted by aya88.issa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • military service
  • young men
  • adopt
  • system
  • patriotism
  • national unity
  • responsibility
  • discipline
  • individual freedoms
  • personal choice
  • skills
  • training
What to do next:
Look at other essays: