IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.
#information #report #consumption #energy #usa #projections
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The line graph
illustates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the 6 different energy sources’ consumption in the USA, over a 50
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
 period, between 1980 and 2030. These products are petrol and oil, coil, natural gas, nuclear, solar or wind,
hydropower
Correct word choice
and hydropower
show examples
. From a cursory glance, it is readily apparent that petrol and oil
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the highest amount,
however
Linking Words
, hydropower, solar or wind and nuclear have the lowest
units
Use synonyms
 in these time periods.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 1980, many
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 who
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
 in the USA used almost 35
units
Use synonyms
petrol
Change preposition
of petrol
show examples
 and oils.
This
Linking Words
 quantity showed a fluctuation until 1995. From 1995 to 2030, the data significantly rose
according to
Linking Words
 the report.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the time schedule, it reached approximately 50
units
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, coal and natural gas showed a similarity. Natural gas used 20
units
Use synonyms
 at the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 and coal was 15
units
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, these will change in the future. Other energy sources
such
Linking Words
 as
hydropwer
Correct your spelling
hydropower
hydro power
, solar or wind or nuclear started with
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 amount of
units
Use synonyms
, nearly 5
units
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, these changed and nuclear showed a rise.
Submitted by sezencizmecigil on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Renewable resources
  • Non-renewable resources
  • Fossil fuels
  • Nuclear power
  • Hydroelectric power
  • Solar energy
  • Wind energy
  • Biomass
  • Consumption patterns
  • Technological advancements
  • Energy efficiency
  • Sustainable development
  • Carbon footprint
  • Energy policy
  • Projections
  • Decade
  • Significant shifts
  • Economic factors
  • Environmental impact
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