The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report  about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.
The line graph
illustates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
the 6 different energy sources’ consumption in the USA, over a 50
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
period, between 1980 and 2030. These products are petrol and oil, coil, natural gas, nuclear, solar or wind,
hydropower
Correct word choice
and hydropower
show examples
. From a cursory glance, it is readily apparent that petrol and oil
has
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have
show examples
the highest amount,
however
, hydropower, solar or wind and nuclear have the lowest
units
in these time periods.
Firstly
, in 1980, many
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
who
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
in the USA used almost 35
units
petrol
Change preposition
of petrol
show examples
and oils.
This
quantity showed a fluctuation until 1995. From 1995 to 2030, the data significantly rose
according to
the report.
At the end
of the time schedule, it reached approximately 50
units
.
On the other hand
, coal and natural gas showed a similarity. Natural gas used 20
units
at the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
and coal was 15
units
.
In contrast
, these will change in the future. Other energy sources
such
as
hydropwer
Correct your spelling
hydropower
hydro power
, solar or wind or nuclear started with
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
amount of
units
, nearly 5
units
.
However
, these changed and nuclear showed a rise.
Submitted by sezencizmecigil on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words units with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Renewable resources
  • Non-renewable resources
  • Fossil fuels
  • Nuclear power
  • Hydroelectric power
  • Solar energy
  • Wind energy
  • Biomass
  • Consumption patterns
  • Technological advancements
  • Energy efficiency
  • Sustainable development
  • Carbon footprint
  • Energy policy
  • Projections
  • Decade
  • Significant shifts
  • Economic factors
  • Environmental impact
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