Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Present day ,
technology
has increased among certain demographics of society. These people claim that children
are more addicted to entertainment as such
is preventable. However
, raising issues seem to continuously loom over these prospects, which will be discussed below, and I will offer my views on whether it the acceptable or not.
To begin
with, parents have been wary of raising their children
. Therefore
, they say, technology
like television and video games are
lead to health issues Unnecessary verb
apply
such
as mental illness, depression and stress. Moreover
, in sophisticated
world, Add an article
a sophisticated
every one
has a device for their education purpose. Replace the word
everyone
Due to
that , children
become addicted to video games and other entertainment programs which are consistently play
on television. These are some Change the verb form
are consistently played
recorded
, child health Replace the word
records
center
say nowadays, more people are using media Fix the agreement mistake
centers
more
than 10 hours. Change preposition
for more
Thus
, they are affected by mental disorders. That means,
they Remove the comma
apply
wanted
to play Wrong verb form
want
game
or Fix the agreement mistake
games
watching
television every day Wrong verb form
watch
otherwise
they cannot behave properly with
Change preposition
apply
themselves
.Correct pronoun usage
apply
overall
, parents should take a
responsibility and make a rule against their Remove the article
apply
addicted
Replace the word
addictive
behavior
,
Change the spelling
behaviour
On the other hand
, the
Correct article usage
apply
technology
affect
Change the verb form
affects
children
by poor concentration at schools
. Fix the agreement mistake
school
Moreover
, this
detrimental lead
to Fix the agreement mistake
leads
the
lots of difficulties Correct article usage
apply
for
their education. Change preposition
in
For instance
, if pupil watching
a movie every day, they do not have enough time Wrong verb form
watch
for finishing
their homework Change preposition
to finish
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
while
,
they Remove the comma
apply
playing
games Change the form of the verb
play
in
night time without adequate sleep, they can not focus on Change preposition
at
studies
in morning classes. Correct pronoun usage
their studies
Thus
, these unnecessary behaviors
make a child underestimate themselves rather than others. Change the spelling
behaviours
Finally
, over usage
of media Correct your spelling
overuse
lead
to poor concentration on education.
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
To conclude
, growing technology
is essential for future generation
. Fix the agreement mistake
generations
However
, in my opinion, unnecessary additions are make
a detrimental effect Verb problem
have
for
Change preposition
on
children
. Government
should create awareness programs Correct article usage
The government
fo
Correct your spelling
for
children
by
Change preposition
about
drawbacks
of entertainment events.Correct article usage
the drawbacks
Submitted by krishmahendran19 on
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