Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Present day ,
technology
has increased among certain demographics of society. These people claim that
children
are more addicted to entertainment as
such
is preventable.
However
, raising issues seem to continuously loom over these prospects, which will be discussed below, and I will offer my views on whether it the acceptable or not.
To begin
with, parents have been wary of raising their
children
.
Therefore
, they say,
technology
like television and video games
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lead to health issues
such
as mental illness, depression and stress.
Moreover
, in
sophisticated
Add an article
a sophisticated
show examples
world,
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
has a device for their education purpose.
Due to
that ,
children
become addicted to video games and other entertainment programs which
are consistently play
Change the verb form
are consistently played
show examples
on television. These are some
recorded
Replace the word
records
show examples
, child health
center
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centers
show examples
say nowadays, more people are using media
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
than 10 hours.
Thus
, they are affected by mental disorders. That means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
to play
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
or
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
television every day
otherwise
they cannot behave properly
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
overall
, parents should take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
responsibility and make a rule against their
addicted
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addictive
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
,
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
children
by poor concentration at
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
.
Moreover
,
this
detrimental
lead
Fix the agreement mistake
leads
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lots of difficulties
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
their education.
For instance
, if pupil
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
a movie every day, they do not have enough time
for finishing
Change preposition
to finish
show examples
their homework
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they
playing
Change the form of the verb
play
show examples
games
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
night time without adequate sleep, they can not focus on
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
in morning classes.
Thus
, these unnecessary
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
make a child underestimate themselves rather than others.
Finally
,
over usage
Correct your spelling
overuse
show examples
of media
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to poor concentration on education.
To conclude
, growing
technology
is essential for future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
.
However
, in my opinion, unnecessary additions
are make
Verb problem
have
show examples
a detrimental effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
should create awareness programs
fo
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
children
by
Change preposition
about
show examples
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
of entertainment events.
Submitted by krishmahendran19 on

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