The pie chart below shows the percentage of people aged 23-65 in different occupations in one UK town (Ashby) and in the UK as a whole in 2008.

#percentage #people #occupations #uk #town #ashby

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The two pie charts compare the professions occupied by the citizens of one UK town, namely

Ashby

Use synonyms

and the UK as a whole for 2008.

Overall

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, the top 3 occupations of the

Ashby

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people include personal service, office and construction

work

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whereas

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,for the British people in general, technical

work

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is one of the most preferred professions as well.

To begin

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, personal service constitutes nearly a quarter of the jobs altogether with 21% among the

Ashby

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citizens.

Following

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this

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, office and construction works are some of the most preferred qualifications with 18% and 16% respectively. The proportion of unemployed people and shopworkers makes up the same figure – 14%. The least employed sphere of

Ashby

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is professional

work

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, amounting to only 8%. In the

overall

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UK, the busiest area of

work

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life is office

work

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accounting for 19%. The percentage of personal service employees and technical workers comes right after with 17% for both professions. The number of unemployed individuals equals the number of construction workers across the whole country at 10%.

Submitted by samid.mustafayev20 on Mon Aug 28 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words ashby, work with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

172 words

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The pie chart below shows the percentage of people aged 23-65 in different occupations in one UK town (Ashby) and in the UK as a whole in 2008.

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think the money spent on developing technology for space exploration is not justified. However, there are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some developed countries now have unemployment problems. Why do people still want to immigrate to these countries? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

In many countries, men and women work full-time. It is therefore logical for men and women to share household work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?